If your sex life is a snooze, your home may be the culprit. We ask a designer, a sex columnist, a feng shui expert and a marital counselor to share a few sexy house tips to get you back in bed.
Whether you're married or testing out the waters, sharing a home with your honey inevitably means there's some lovemaking going on. Or is there?
Before you ring up Dr. Ruth or run down a list of reasons why your significant other is to blame for your lackluster love life, consider the role your home is playing in setting the mood for intimacy.
To help us help you make your home more sexy -- literally -- we called in the pros, a virtual panel of experts who know their stuff when it comes to home design and hanky panky: interior designer Ryan Korban, marriage and family therapist Jane Greer, Feng Shui Consultant Ken Lauher, and sex columnist Anka Radakovich. Here are their tips for ramping things up in the bedroom and beyond.
Let the Energy Flow
In feng shui, energy is everything, and the way you arrange your furnishings helps determine the type of energy you let into certain rooms and how that energy moves about.
For sex to happen smoothly, Lauher suggests carving out a "love corner" in every room, according to the feng shui principle of ba gua. From the entrance of the room facing in, it's the area against the back wall on the far right.
Once you've got the love corner in sight, assess what's being stored there since it may shed some light on what's tripping you up sexually. Books, for example, could indicate that one of you is pushing love away with solitary pursuits and study, a computer means work may trump romance and exercise equipment could be tied to a belief that the relationship is hard work.
Keep the corner clutter-free, Lauher says, and infuse it with living "chi" (energy) in the form of plants, personal effects, or two matching objects that represent romance, such as red candles.
In the bedroom, it's all about location of the bed. Place it in the "command" position (doesn't that just sounds sexy?), which means along a wall opposite the door. "This strengthens internal confidence and leads to a better connection physically, mentally and spiritually," Lauher says. The position in direct line with the door, on the other hand, is referred to as the "coffin" position and can cause health issues over time and affect how adventurous you are in bed.
Make It A Joint Effort
It takes two, as they say, and that truth applies not only to sex, but to setting the scene for it as well. "It's important, first and foremost, when couples are decorating that it's a reflection of both people's preferences and comfort levels," says Jane Greer, PhD, author of "What about Me?: Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship". If it isn't, "certain areas of your home that could be an arena for sexual play, be it the couch in the living room or even the bed, can become a source of conflict and resentment," she says.
To ward off these sexual saboteurs, Greer suggests getting something new. "Making changes can actually become a way to spice up your sex life because both of you are involved in the activity so there's a shared connection around what you're both going to enjoy," she says. Greer likens the experience of shopping together (and combining your tastes and pleasures) to foreplay. "It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex on that couch, but it certainly might be a way to christen it!"
Keeping the room clean, uncluttered and ready for an impromptu romp is key. Anything else will be a turnoff.
Design With the Deed In Mind
"Think about the senses," Korban says. "It's less about 'decorating' and more about creating an environment." His approach? Focus on making the space feel good, smell good and look good. "For me sex in interiors comes from the scent of a space or the flowers in a space, things like lighting and small details become very important," he says.
Korban's sex-friendly must-haves include romantic pieces like chaise lounges, settees and daybeds, their length suggesting the idea of lounging or lying down. He also gravitates to pieces that are low to the floor. "The lower the furniture the sexier the feel," he says. Plus, they make an easy transition from making out to sprawling out on the floor. And for fabrics, the tactile (and soft-on-the-skin) appeal of silk, cashmere, velvet and leather makes them Korban's go-to choices. Although, "nothing says sex like fur!" he says.
Be Ready on a Whim
"Guys will have sex anywhere; in a dumpster if it means spontaneous, hot sex," says Anka Radakovich, the former Details magazine sex columnist who is currently penning her third book and a column in British GQ. "Women, on the other hand prefer a swanky, comfortable place to get it on." And by "swanky," guys, five-star hotels do apply, but at home Radakovich simply means "stain-free surfaces and soft lighting (as opposed to crusty, pizza-stained sheets and blaring, mug shot lighting)."
Once you've got those bases covered, Radakovich suggests keeping essentials -- we'll let you use your imagination for those -- at the ready. "Hide them in potted plants or under chairs for easy access so certain people (the cable guy, your mother) won't see them," she says.
Prepping for on-the-spot sex may seem counterintuitive, but trust us...it helps. You'll see why, especially when venturing outside of the bedroom. (Kitchen table sound good?) And if you're ready to take your sex life to new heights, think outside the house altogether "including the lawn or the roof," Radakovich says. "Getting caught makes it more exciting."
- Source: AOL's ShelterPop
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