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Feng Shui Love Tips: New Mattress for a New Romance

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According to Feng Shui principles, your bed affects many areas of your life: your health, your energy levels, and, of course, your love life. Yet too many people sleep on an old, uncomfortable mattress because they don't want to spend the money on a new one.

If you've recently broken off a long term relationship, it's important to replace your mattress with a new one. You'll be clearing out the old energy to make room to invite someone new into your life. In the meantime, you'll be strengthening your own energy on a bed that is uniquely -- and exclusively -- yours.

The Best Size Mattress

When you buy a mattress, size is important. A Queen size bed is best. A twin or a full bed doesn't leave room for a partner in the bed. Be careful, because leaning toward a full size bed could reflect your mindset of being single. In order to attract a soul mate, you want to begin thinking as if you've already found the love of your life.

You may have slept in a king size bed before your break-up. Unfortunately, a king size bed can sometimes contribute to break-ups. Because a king-size bed is made of two twin foundations, it can create a divide between a couple. Additionally, once you've gone to a king size bed, the only way to go is to downgrade ... in other words, a break-up and a move to a smaller bed.

Start New with a Feng Shui Mattress

If you are still sleeping in the king size mattress from an old relationship, replace it, along with your old mindset that may no longer work for you as someone looking for love.

A new mattress doesn't have to be expensive, as long as it's comfortable to you. Today's memory foam mattresses are very reasonably priced. Whatever you do, make sure the mattress is brand new -- don't pick one up from a yard sale or thrift store, because these mattresses will hold the energy of the previous owners.

Feng Shui Relationship Advice: The Love Stories Our Homes Tell

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I often talk about the stories our homes or apartments tell -- how our space can reveal insight about what's really important to us, how we are living right now, and what changes we may need to make to our mindset and our living space in order to begin to live our best life.

I consult for many clients whose homes or apartments reveal secrets about their love life. Here are three examples.

1. Too many shoes create a runaway bride. - One New York City woman was having challenges finding a man. When I provided a Feng Shui consultation for her New York City apartment, I noticed the romance trigram of her master bedroom was filled with dozens of boxes of shoes. There may have even been 100 pairs! After talking with her, I discovered that she often found something wrong with a potential partner after just one or two dates, and would quickly “walk away” from the relationship.

I recommended that she move the shoes to a different closet, and instead, place something that showed her desire to find a man in the romance trigram. She selected a few anchoring objects. A short time after, she did find a guy that she fell in love with and later married.

2. Clutter in the master bedroom cause married couple to neglect each other. - Life gets busy and it's often hard to keep up with housework. Since the master bedroom is reversed for you and your spouse and no one else sees it, it's often the last to get cleaned or decorated nicely. Clutter, books, piles of laundry and even mail can build up in this room.

If your master bedroom is neglected, your love life or your relationship may be, as well. Consider treating your bedroom -- and your marriage -- as the sanctuary that it should be by getting rid of the clutter and keeping the room tidy. You may notice a different in your quality of sleep and your interactions with your spouse.

3. Love letters and photos from old relationships could mean clinging to the past. - If your home, and specifically, your master bedroom, is filled with old photos of past relationships, love letters, stuffed animals that were gifts, and other mementos, you may not be leaving room to welcome a new love into your life. These items don't represent who you are today, and the past energy they're giving off could be preventing you from meeting the right person to share your life with.

Do any of these situations seem familiar to you? What stories is your home or apartment revealing about your thoughts on finding a soul mate? Can you make changes that may help you find a guy or girl?

Feng Shui Relationship Guide: 3 Ways to Use Feng Shui to Set the Stage for a Romantic Dinner

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The holiday season is often a whirlwind of activity -- travel, family get-togethers, time with the kids. Many parents are preparing right now for the holiday season with shopping, decorating and constant cooking. But no matter what's going on in your life, it's important to carve out time for romance with your spouse or significant other.

Feng Shui for a Romantic Dinner

You can use Feng Shui to set the stage for a romantic dinner. If your goal is to find a spouse and you're planning a dinner date at home, you can also follow these romance tips.

1. Create the right mood in the room - Dim the lights, and perhaps light some red or white unscented candles to create the perfect atmosphere. If your dining room or eat-in-kitchen area is less than perfect, those imperfections (along with reminders of everyday life) will vanish in the shadows, putting the focus on you and your partner.

2. Position the seats so that your partner is in the command position of the room. Ideally, you can sit so that you both have a view of the door or entryway, but not be in direct line with it. Likewise, try to avoid placing your backs to a window.

3. Add flowers for life chi - With the lights dim, you may want to use another Feng Shui remedy in order to enliven the chi in the room. A few fresh cut flowers on the table can do it. Don't overpower the table with a large centerpiece -- a single rose in a bud vase is elegant and life-affirming.

How To Find Your Love & Relationship Corner Using Feng Shui

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In spite of all that's been written and taught on the topic, the aspect of Feng Shui that people tell me they find most confusing is the Feng Shui ba gua.

Understanding the ba gua is one of the first steps toward using Feng Shui to create positive change in your life and begin living the life of your dreams.

Let's start simple, with something you can use right away: Where is the romance trigram of the Feng Shui ba gua?

If you are interested in strengthening romantic bonds or attracting love into your life, this is where you want to place your focus. But how do you find it?

To find any area of the ba gua, stand at your home's front entrance (if you live in an apartment, this is the entrance to your specific unit, not your building) and look in. The romance and marriage trigram is located in the back right-hand corner (stage right) as you face the room. It is on the same wall, yet opposite, the wealth trigram.

Tips for Using the Feng Shui Ba Gua

1. Even if you use another entrance (such as a side entrance or the garage) more frequently, lay out the ba gua using your home's main entrance as the reference point.

2. When you lay the Feng Shui Ba Gua over your home, do not count space such as screened in porches or the garage as part of your home's main layout. (Although you can lay the ba gua, separately, over your garage or any other room in your home).

3. To lay the Feng Shui Ba Gua over your property (front yard or both) line up your front property line with the front three trigrams of the Ba gua.

To learn more about how to locate the different areas in your home or apartment using the Ba Gua, visit here.

How The Feng Shui Fire Element Can Add Passion to Your Romance

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Encouraging chi to enter the romance trigram of your home is a good first step toward attracting romance in your life. But what if you're looking for something more? If you want to increase the passion in your current romance, or find a new, passionate romance, consider activating positive chi using the fire element.

The Color Red in Feng Shui

Red, as we know, is the color of love. Chinese wedding gowns are red, not white, since this color is also said to bring good fortune. Red is also associated with the fire element.

Consider adding red objects to your romance trigram or your fame & recognition trigram (the very back center of a home, apartment or room), since this trigram is associated with the element of fire.

You can also use an object that is symbolic of fire -- something that gives you the sense of warmth of passion -- or actual fire in the form of candles. A pair of red candles placed in your romance corner can really set your love life on fire!

Too Much of a Good Thing

Be careful of incorporating too much red in your home, especially in the master bedroom. This color generates a lot of highly active chi. Mis-used, it can cause a home's residents to fight, become angry too easily, or, in the master bedroom, it can prevent a good night's sleep. Red should be used as an accent color only in the bedroom and kitchen. Since the kitchen contains the stove, it already has a strong fire element.

Balance the Chi

Good Feng Shui is about balancing the elements to attract what you desire in your life. If your romance could use a little spice, the fire element and the color red can help.

Feng Shui Your Bedroom To Achieve Better Balance In Your Relationship

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Who wears the proverbial pants in your relationship? If you're unhappy with the balance of power in your long-term relationship, your surroundings and master bedroom layout could be reflecting that -- or contributing to it!

Finding Balance

At different times in every relationship, one partner or the other may be steering the ship while the other adopts the role of support crew. But these roles change over time and depending on the situation. Problems may exist when one partner has the attitude of “my way or the highway,” and the other partner resents being controlled.

A well-balanced master bedroom represents a well-balanced relationship, built on mutual trust and respect, where neither partner dominates the other in every situation, all the time. If you'd like to achieve that balance in your romance, follow these tips.

Use Feng Shui to Make a Change

If you'd like to achieve a better sense of balance in your relationship, begin with a sense of balance in the master bedroom. Your master bedroom should:

- Have two nightstands, on one each side of the bed, exactly the same, with the same items on them
- Have a bed in the command position, with room to walk around it on both sides. The bed should not be up against the wall
- Offer room for the chi to flow evenly across the room

If you have paintings or other decorations on the walls, they don't need to be identical, but they should be similar in size and create a greater sense of balance in the room.

You can use plants, fresh cut flowers, candles or lighting to encourage chi to flow to areas of the room that feel dark or dead, or have a sense of stagnant chi.  

A well-balanced bedroom will give you and your partner a better night's sleep and a sense of balance that will translate into a stronger relationship, too.

Feng Shui Your Love Corner to Attract a Mate

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Do you want to attract romance into your life? Maybe you haven't had a date in months (or years). Or maybe you've had an endless string of dates but have still never met the one person who is perfect for you. Could the Feng Shui in your home -- and specifically, the Feng Shui love corner of your home or apartment -- be blocking you from finding fulfillment in your love life?

The Feng Shui love corner, according to the Feng Shui Ba Gua, is the area of your home against the back wall on the far right (when you're standing at the entrance and looking in.) You can apply the Feng Shui ba gua to an individual room, such as your living room or master bedroom, to your whole house, or even to your property.

If you're looking for love, you may want to assess what's in the love corner of both your master bedroom and your whole house, as well as in other rooms where you spend a lot of time.

The Best Colors for the Feng Shui Love Corner
The colors associated with the romance trigram of the ba gua (that is, the love corner) are reds and pinks. A single person looking to attract love into their life may also want to paint their master bedroom peach, as this color is known to attract romance. You can read more about Feng Shui colors for a bedroom here.

What's In Your Feng Shui Love Corner?
What we store in the Feng Shui love corner can say a lot about our true thoughts and attitudes about love, and about what is blocking someone from finding a partner. For instance, if you store books and other scholarly items in that trigram of the ba gua, you may be pushing love away with solitary pursuits and study. If your computer is located in the Feng Shui love corner of your kitchen, living room, master bedroom or your whole house, you may be putting work ahead of romance.

It's never a good idea to keep a computer in the master bedroom -- this creates too much active chi that can prevent a good night's sleep. But placing it in the love corner is even worse.

Many people keep workout equipment in their master bedroom. Again, this should be avoided. But if you store workout equipment in your Feng Shui love corner, you may harbor the belief that a relationship is “hard work” and making it harder to attract a partner.

Activating the Feng Shui Love Corner
There are several ways to activate the Feng Shui love corner in any area of your house. One of the best ways is by infusing the space with living chi in the form of live plants or flowers. (Choose red and pink roses for a truly romantic feeling). You can also place two matching objects that represent romance such as red candles (fire element) in that corner. Be careful not to clutter up the space, and use only objects that have personal significance to you.

What's in your Feng Shui love corner? Are you achieving the romantic results you desire? Could Feng Shui help you change your romantic situation for the better?

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