Don't Complain - Don't Explain

Complaining and explaining are the two huge allies of excuse making. Generally speaking, when you resort to complaining you employ an excuse of one kind or another, placing the responsibility for what's upsetting you on something or someone external to yourself.

Complaining about the way somebody has performed (or failed to perform) is another way of making an excuse for why you're dissatisfied or unhappy. "It's their fault that my blood pressure is up - look at how miserably they've performed" or, "How can I enjoy myself at dinner when everyone here at this restaurant is behaving so incompetently?" are prime examples.

Finding fault with circumstances, the weather, the economy, other people, or anything else outside yourself is a way to hang on to excuses.

In addition to putting an end to complaints, I recommend that you never attempt to explain. As I've pursued a no-excuses mentality, I've made it my policy to keep the things that I wish to accomplish a private matter. By doing so, I'm never forced into a stance of having to explain myself.

I'm well aware that many of my personal life missions sound strange and outrageous to others. Consequently, I've learned to avoid sharing my intentions with anyone, outside of a select few whom I know and trust as a spiritual level. (Anything I might say to these individuals wouldn't require me to explain myself in any way.)

The problem with having to explain yourself is that in doing so, you inevitably invoke the ego to do your bidding. You have a tendency to make yourself right, sensible, and understood; while at the same time dealing with the doubts and antagonisms of those who don't share your views or optimism.

When you keep things to yourself, you stay connected to your spiritual side, or the place within you that has no need to be right or to make anyone else wrong.

Since all of creation comes from the world of nonbeing, if you want to give life to your dreams and desires - if you wish to manifest your own destiny - then you must rely on the great Source of all creation, Spirit.

The moment you inject ego into the picture, you invite excuses; and the moment you invoke those familiar excuses, you stop the creative and the creation process from manifesting.

As Lao-tzu put it:

The Tao gives rise to all forms, yet it has no form of its own...
Stop striving after admiration.
Place your esteem on the Tao.
Live in accord with it,
share with others the teachings that lead to it,
and you will be immersed in the blessings that flow from it.

In more modern language, stop complaining and explaining - your excuses will soon cease.

- Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

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