Being Right

There's nothing that the false self loves more than being right - and making someone else wrong - and excuses are tailor-made for this. When you use an excuse, you get to feel superior and put someone else in the position of being a loser... and ego loves feeling like a winner, especially at the expense of others.

Excuses are simply explanations you make to yourself that have no necessary bearing on the truth - yet even though they're lies, they do bring you some sort of reward. So while your only evidence may be a habitual thought, if you convince yourself that you're right, you get to retreat into the illusion of winning.

In this case, the excuse is a deception that props up your low self-esteem. You've substituted an excuse in place of authentic self-worth, and the payoff is that your reasoning helps you live with yourself without acknowledging your self-deceit.

So:

- No one will ever help me translates to: I'm not deserving or lucky enough to get others to help me, just like I've always said. So there you have it - I'm right again.

- The rules won't let me translates to: See how smart I am? I've always said that you can't get ahead, and anyone who disagrees with me is a loser.

- There will be family drama translates to: I'm right about this family, and I've always been right. All the rest of you just don't know as much as I do.

On and on goes this convoluted logic. When you're an excuse maker, you need to be right and haul out anything you can think of to prove to the world how wrong it is. And, conversely, how right you are!

- Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits by Dr. Wayne Dyer


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