Transform or Release Toxic Relationships
Posted by Ken Lauher
You may, at times, find yourself in relationships that are laced with conflict. Although you may enjoy the passion and drama these relationships generate, over time, they will inevitably make you feel older and depleted. It is essential that you transform toxic relationships into nourishing ones. If you accept that reality is a selective act of perception and interpretation, the most empowering way to transform a relationship is to change the way you view the other person.
Every relationship is a mirror that can show you some aspect of yourself. When you are engaged in conflict, ask yourself, "What is this situation telling me about my own nature?" Try this simple exercise that can be helpful in revealing the hidden meaning in a difficult relationship.
Write down as many traits as you can think of that describe the person with whom you are having problems.
Now look again at each descriptive word and see which ones create an emotional charge in you. For example, you may have described your manager as:
Controlling, Needy, Unappreciative, Argumentative, uncompromising, Stubborn.As you review your list, you may see traits that really irritate you: controlling, needy, unappreciative, and stubborn. Now look at yourself. Are these words that others might use to describe you? Do you have the tendency to reflect these traits? Have you expressed these qualities in the past? More often than not, the traits that bother you the most in another person are the ones you try hardest to deny in yourself.
As you embrace these darker qualities in your own heart, you may find yourself less inclined to judge someone else for expressing them. As you relinquish your judgment and interpretation, you may be open to the possibility that there are other qualities that may be attractive in the person, which you have not allowed yourself to see.
- Grow Younger, Live Longer by
Deepak Chopra
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